The uncyclopedia.org entry for Google Technology. Cant help loving them! (I'd definitely work for Google if this was true...) More on
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Google_%28company%29Technology
Google gathers information about web pages using spiders. These spiders, usually wolf spiders or jumping spiders, but occasionally black widows or daddy longlegs, are outfitted with tiny cameras that take pictures of everything they see, including web pages, and miniature radio transmitters that relay the information back to Google headquarters. Google has massive spider-breeding facilities located in Palo Alto which allow them to raise the billions of spiders required for this undertaking, and as such are the world's largest purchaser of flies. People have rarely been allowed in to see this spider-raising operation, but those who have seen it in operation describe it as "really icky".
The data collected by spiders is then relayed back to Google, who stores it on server farms. Google built its server farms by slashing and burning huge sections of the Amazon rainforest, and then planting the servers in the soil. The nutrients of the soil are quickly depleted, so Google must harvest the servers and then move to another part of the rain forest. To do the difficult manual labor of watering and tending the servers, Google employs thousands of illegal laborers from Mexico, paid about 25 cents a day.
Finally, the data is sorted by a process called "PageRank", where young boys dressed as medieval pages rank the sites according to relevance. Because the huge number of pages required to rank the information, Google has taken to purchasing young boys in bulk from Third World orphanages. There is also an algorithm called "PageRank" which allows Brin and Page to rank the boys according to which has the best boyish good looks and nubile young bodies.
